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Joyful Noise!

The most wasted of all days, is one without laughter!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Reflective



Tres loves to act like he's 'daddy.' He will assign everyone a different role in the family, starring himself as 'dad.' It's very sweet! I love seeing his imagination expand every day. I love seeing his desires come to life. I love seeing him grow into a little person.

Seeing him do this the other day, made me think. Do you ever feel like you are putting on a facade... acting like someone you're not? I'm gonna be real here... I find myself doing this more than I care to admit. I don't like to rock the boat. I want people to like me, want to be around me, find things in common with me. When they are talking, I sometimes find myself racking my brain for similar circumstances. To some degree, I think this is natural. But, I also think it is sympomatic of my insecurity. What I mean is, I am sometimes afraid to reveal who I really am, for fear that I am just not enough somehow.

I wrote a song not too long ago about this very thing. It's titled 'Enough.' I just felt like God was showing me how to deal with this. He was reminding me that I am exactly who He made me to be. That I am good enough. That I actually fit in His plan. Sometimes it's easy to get bogged down in insecurities... am I thin enough? Am I too young or old? Am I cool enough? Why does this person not want to be around me?

Then comes the point that God is teaching me. I tell myself, God made me for a purpose. He has people placed in my life for a reason. He knows each step I take before I take it. His purpose is greater than mine. Can you tell, that I am actually doing this as I type it?

3 Comments:

Blogger Vickie said...

Girl, you are totally amazing. I LOVE you as you are. Great Mom, amazing daughter (I hear and see)and an awesome friend! I love you as you are. Don't change a thing. Not only are you very talented but you are GORGEOUS as well. LOVE YA BUNCHES!!

11:30 AM  
Blogger ~Crystal~ said...

I can totally feel ya on this one. I do the same thing. I remember when I was younger hanging with with the guys & I would act like I knew all their inside jokes, so they would like me. I had them fooled, because I didn't know half of what they were talking about. I still find myself following that same pattern. I agree with things I absolutely don't agree with & things like that just to fit in. Good post. Can't wait to hear that song. Isn't it the one you sang some of it to me one day?

1:24 PM  
Blogger native-nc said...

Yep. Been there; done that & STILL working on it! Thanks for sharing.

ps From what you have told us here I think I'd like you just the way you are! (I do but you know what I mean.)

6:24 PM  

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